HELP FROM THE UNEXPECTED!!

Touching story.
It was about eight o’clock p.m when her son who was asthmatic developed some complications. He had to be rushed to the nearest hospital about 1km away or else it would be fatal. She called a neighbor who had a car but the neighbor said the car had no fuel;she called the pastor, who said he had visiting pastors from USA and could not leave them alone. She decided to carry the son to... the hospital; she could not imagine loosing her only child with the same sickness that a few months earlier had killed the husband. She had a problem with her leg and could not move fast enough and the son was also heavy for her to move faster. Along the way she met people rushing home from work who just stared at her. She tried to beg them for help but they ignored her. She also tried to stop passin...g vehicles but they never responded. She fell many times but she had to keep moving. Then a man who was mad and used to roam the streets naked noticed her. He came running towards her and took the son from her. She could not talk but just pointed the direction of the hospital. The crazy naked man could understand perfectly well what she meant since he saw the desperate boy struggling for breath. He put him on the shoulder and told the woman “all will be well” as he ran towards the hospital. The doctors on seeing the crazy man knew something was really wrong and attended to the boy immediately. Ten minutes later the mother arrived and the doctor broke the news “if he was brought five minutes later than that he would have died” The mad man is long dead and the woman too died some years back but the boy now a man today owns one of the biggest private hospitals. The hospital offers free asthma treatments. God doesn’t have to use Bishops, Pastors, politicians and rich people with cars, to rescue or bless you. No matter what may come your way, no matter what you are going through, your life is in his hands and I know you will make it. For there’s a friend in God who will wipe away ur tears

LOL!!!!!!

A nun with big boobs entered a bus. She has a rosary around her neck with the cross hanging btw her boobs. The guy beside her couldnt help starring. Knowing the guy has been starring at her for over 15 mins, she asked: "Are you looking at Jesus Christ who died for you on the cross?" The guy replied: "No!!!!! I am actually looking at the 2 thieves beside him!!!!!!!!!

If na me, i for give am "Azonto". So the boobs could also be referred as "The two thieves"!!!!!! lol

SHAKARA!!!

A boy said to a girl: "I can make you say "I LOVE YOU"
Girl: No way!, u cant do that.
Boy: Lets bet
Girl: Alright
Boy: ok, Lets start. Say Red
Girl: Red
Boy: Say Green
Girl: Green
Boy: Say Love
Girl: Love
Boy: What is 1+1?
Girl: 2
Boy: What is your age?
Girl: 20
Boy: Hahahahahahahaa! I told you i could make u say 20
Girl: No!!!!!!!! You said you could make me say "I LOVE YOU"
Boy: Yes!!!!! I jst did cos u jst said it...
Girl: (Shy!!!!!!!)

BE CAREFUL, A KID COULD PICK IT UP!!!!

A woman was passing by and saw two kids blowing what seemed like a ballon from a distance but at a closer look, she discovered it was indeed a used condom. She got angry with the kids, collected and discarded the disgusting thing. After spanking the kids, she then walked away.
The older of the two in a bid to console the youger said "DONT MIND HER, LET HER GO WITH IT AFTER ALL WE'VE DRANK ALL THE MILK"..

U could imagine how many innocent kids suffer for the carelessness of our present day adult!!!!!!
Lets be more careful!!!!!!! plsssssssssssssssssss...

TRADES & WISHES COULD BE UNFAVOURABLE!!

A man was sick and tired of going to work every day while his wife stayed at home. He wanted her to see what he went through each day, so he prayed:-

"Dear Lord, i go to work every day and put in 8 hours of hard work, while my wife merely stays at home. I want her to know what I go through, so please create a trade in our bodies". God, in His infinite wisdom, granted the man's wish.

The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman. He arose, cooked breakfast for his mate, awakened his kids, set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches, drove them to school, came home .......... picked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners and stopped at the bank to draw money to pay the electricity and telephone bills.

He drove to the electricity company and the phone company and paid the bills, went grocery shopping, came home and put away the groceries. He cleaned the cat's litter box and bathed the dog. By then it was already 1:00 pm, so he hurried to make the beds, do the laundry, vacuuum dust, sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

He rushed to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home which he had to sort out in a gentle 'motherly' fashion. He set out cookies and milk and got the kids organised to do their homework, then set up the ironing board and was able to watch a bit of TV while he did the ironing. By then it was 4:30pm, so he began peeling potatoes and washed greens for salads. He prepared the chops and fresh vegetables and got everything ready in time for an early dinner.

After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed.
At 9:00 pm he was exhausted and although his chores weren't finished for the day, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaining. The next morning he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said:-

"Lord, I don't know what I was thinking. I was so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, O please, let us trade back!"

The lord in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have learned your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were. You'll just have to wait 9 months though, because you got pregnant last night!!!"


Learn your lessons pple & try not to be envious or make silly wishes...

HOW FUNNY RICH HOMES COULD BE..

Rich people no go kill me o. I went with a friend to visit a very rich family. The maid approached me and..... see me see trouble oooo.

Question: What would you like to have? fruit juice, soda, tea, chocolate, cappuccino, frapuccino or coffee?
Answer: Tea please.
Question: Ceylon tea, Indian tea, herbal tea, bush tea, honey bush tea, iced tea or green tea?
Answer: Ceylon tea please.
Question: How would you like it? black or white?
Answer: White
Question: Milk or fresh cream?
Answer: With milk.
Question: Goat milk or Cow milk?
Answer: With cow milk please.
Question: Freezeland cow or Afrikaner cow?
Answer: Umm. I think i would just take the freezeland cow.
Question: Would you like it with sweetener, sugar or honey?
Answer: With sugar.
Question: Bee sugar or cane sugar?
Answer: Cane sugar.
Question:White, brown or yellow sugar?
Answer: Oya, forget about the tea. Just give me a glass of water instead.
Question: Mineral water, tap water or distilled water?
Answer: Mineral water.
Question: Flavored or non-flavored?
Answer: Mtscheeew. Infact, give me an empty glass.
Question: Tumbler, wine glass, goblet, champagne flute or beer mug?
Answer: Abeg, i think i'll just swallow my saliva!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Which kin wahala be dis?
I'v actually lost more strength in questions and answers than d way i came... mtscheeeeeeeeew!!!!!!!!!!

FOOD FOR THOUGHT SEASON 1

Lessons to learn in life season 1

• Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.
• Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.
• Dont believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
• When you say "I love you", mean it.
• When you say "I am sorry", look the person in the eye.
• Be engaged at least six (6) months before you get married.
• Believe in love at first sight.
• Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who dont have dreams don't have much.
• Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.
• In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling
• Don't judge people by their relatives.
• Talk slowly but think quickly.
• When someone asks you a question you dont want to answer, smile and ask, "why do you want to know?"
• Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
• Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.
• When you lose, don't lose the lesson.
• Remember the 3 R's- Respect for self, Respect for others and Responsibility for all your actions.
• Dont let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
• When you realize you have made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
• Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.
• Spend some time alone.