New Electricity Tariffs from 2012-2015

The New Multi-Year Electricity Tariffs (2012-2015) as agreed upon by the Nigerian Electricity Regulatory Commission and ‘stakeholders’ is as follows:
Residential 2 ( Single and 3 Phase ) 
Consumption Charge: From 11.32 Naira per KWh to 12.99 Naira per KWh
Fixed Charge: 500 Naira per month
Residential 3 ( LV Maximum Demand ) 
Consumption Charge: From 11.32 Naira per KWh to 12.99 Naira per KWh
Fixed Charge: From 16,137 to 37,527 Naira per month
Commercial 2 ( Single and 3 Phase ) 
Consumption Charge: From 18.71 Naira per KWh to 12.99 Naira per KWh
Fixed Charge: From 14,629 to 34,020 Naira per month
Commercial 3 ( LV Maximum Demand ) 
Consumption Charge: From 18.71 Naira per KWh to 22.04 Naira per KWh
Fixed Charge: From 91,427 to 141,748 Naira per month

70 YEAR OLD VIRGIN (PAM SHAW) IS READY TO FIND LOVE!!

Rich 70-year-old Virgin Pam Shaw Is Ready To Find Love! I can’t believe this.

 


Millionaire Pam Shaw has waited 70-years to find the right man but it just hasn’t happened. Now the 70-year-old virgin is stepping up her efforts in order to find the right suitor.
But Shaw isn’t lowering her standards. She’s just being more forward.
Shaw said:
“Now’s the time. I’m ready to take the plunge for the right bloke. My standards are still very high, though. I’m hoping to bag a tall, dark and handsome millionaire.”
Shaw said that she didn’t want to have sex before marriage and she has always been too focused on her career as a cabaret dancer to find a suitable husband. But despite her risque career, Shaw insists that she isn’t easy.
Shaw said:
“Men saw the outfits I wore on stage and thought I would be easy. But I’ve never really been intimate with a man, just a bit of kissing. I had a sexy stage name and dressed sexy but that was all for my career.”
But now at 70-years-old, she’s ready to lose her virginity. Of course, the suitor will have to put a ring on that finger first.
Shaw said:
“I feel I am ready to give marriage a go and maybe go to bed with a man. You are never too old for anything. Just look at Joan Collins.”
pam shaw
The 70-year-old virgin said that she was almost married once but broke off the engagement before she walked down the aisle.
“In 1976 I was proposed to by an oil rig worker in Blackpool. I said yes but later broke it off when I realised I didn’t fancy him.”
The average person Yahoo reports that the average person loses his or her virginity at 17.3-years old. Pam Shaw is just slightly older.
Do you think Pam Shaw should her lower her standards a bit? Or will the 70-year-0ld virgin millionaire find a tall, dark, handsome young man to sweep her off her feet?

Genevieve Nnaji “I Am Tired Of Spinsterhood

For Nollywood star actress, Genevieve Nnaji, the reality of time is beginning to tell on her, as she is not re finding her single status funny any longer. A close source the actress disclosed to Entertainment Rendezvous that, the actress, whose rivalry with Omotola Jalade Ekehinde is said to have taken another dimension, is tired of life as a single girl.
“I am tired of spinsterhood o, all my friends are now married o” she was said to have voiced out, when one of her childhood friends sent her a picture of her wedding via blackberry.
Anyway, what Entertainment Rendezvous will tell you is to lower your guard and maybe, just maybe——well Let’s just say that we wish you all the best in finding true love.

KIDNAPPED IGBINEDION UNIVERSITY STUDENTS RELEASED!!

The 4 final year medical scholars of Igbinedion university , Okada, who were kidnapped along the Okada-Benin road after an armed robbery attack event on Thursday June 7 th were this morning released by their kidnappers.

The students pictured above after their release.We thank God!

DRIVER KIDNAPS 3 CHILDREN AFTER PICKING THEM UP FROM SCHOOL!!

The 3 boys pictured above (Chinemerem 5, Okechukwu 4 and Nzube 2) are missing. Their driver by name Godwin picked them up from their school ABC Academy Utako Abuja around 3:30pm yesterday June 7th in a new Toyota Avensis metallic colour (without plate number) and disappeared with them. They have not been found. Anybody that has seen or heard anything about their where about should report to the nearest police station.

Please other bloggers should put this on their blogs. Also put the photo above on your dp and send to all your contacts on Facebook and Twitter. Lets all help find these children. The face of the driver when you continue…

 

20 NIGERIANS DEPORTED FROM THE UK!!

On Fri, 8th June, 2012, twenty (20) Nigerians were deported from the United Kingdom for over staying in the country outside the time allowed by their entry visas. The deportees were incarcerated and then was deported on-board a chartered Italian plane. More Nigerians will be deported over the coming days.
What a pity!!

AFTER THE DEATH OF MOST FAMILY MEMBERS, HE STILL WENT AHEAD WITH HIS WEDDING!!!

Maimuna Anyene died with her four children (Kamsi, 2, twins Kayna and Kayne 1, and Kamal, 7 months), her husband, mother and other relatives in last Sunday’s Dana crash, while heading to Lagos to attend her younger brother’s wedding, which was scheduled to hold yesterday June 9th. Maimuna lived in the US, and was in Nigeria with her kids specifically to see her husband who lived mostly in Nigeria and to attend her brother’s wedding. But they all died in the ill fated flight.

Ndako Mijindadi, Maimuna’s younger brother went ahead with his wedding despite losing Maimuna and eight other family members in that crash. The wedding held yesterday at the Incubator, Victoria Island.

Ndako is now being heavily criticized for going ahead with the wedding, especially considering the dead are yet to be buried. Was he wrong to go ahead with it?

BREAKFAST IS READY!!

 
HAVE YOU HAD YOUR BREAKFAST YET???

You can join me, you know there is love in sharing!!!!

CRAZY!!!

 Is this guy mad or crazy???? Na wa oooooo..

SPIRITUAL CLEANSING

The Pastor Caught Bathing Church Member's Wife, Reacts.

A Ghanaian Pastor who claim to specialize on sanctification and anointing have responded to criticisms that have followed the secret picture of him bathing a church members wife and his mode of cleansing and worship.

"I am at pain with the negative publicity done by some people against my person, my mode of worship and cleansing.
My actions are directed by the 'Holy spirit', and the spiritual cleansing has lead to everything turning around for the believers.
I am honestly at the lose about what people think and talk about.. 


Haba!!

JONA!! Y U DEY FEAR NA??

HU rocks it best?? Kim k, Kelly Rowland or Yvonne Nelson??

 Who Rocks it best??? Kim K, Kelly Rowland or Yvonne?? To me, i say Kelly Rowland..

*LAUGHING*

A married man goes to confessional
and says to the priest, "Father, I had
an affair with a woman... almost."
"What do you mean almost?"
question the priest.
"Well, we got undressed and rubbed
together, but then I stopped."
"Rubbing together is the same as
putting it in," explains the priest.
"You're not to go near that woman
again. Now, say five Hail Mary's and
put $50 in the poor box."
The man leaves confessional, says his
prayers, and then walks over to the
poor box. He pauses for a moment
and then decides to leave.
The priest quickly runs over to the
man and exclaims, "I saw that... you
didn't put any money in the poor
box!"
"Well Father, I rubbed up against it
and, like you said, it's the same as
putting it in!"

DIFFERENCE BTW A BOY & A MAN

A BOY keeps a password on his
cellphone while a MAN is confident
enough to say "baby
can u answer that for me"!!
A BOY runs the streets & chill with his
friends while a MAN is
enjoying time with his woman
planning ahead for their future!
A BOY complains about spending
too much time with his woman, a
MAN plans vacations & gateways
because he is wise enough to
notice tomorrow isn't promised!
A BOY has pride after arguments, a
MAN has heart & emotions,
A BOY beats on his woman, a MAN
massages & caresses his woman!
A BOY screams gold-digger for the
simple things a woman want, a
MAN screams unity!
A BOY tells his woman all the things
she does wrong, a MAN
acknowledges his woman's hard
work!
A BOY tells his woman she is pretty, &
a MAN tells his woman
she is beautiful!
A BOY will read this & think this is
about him & a MAN will read this &
thoroughly acknowledge what
he needs to fix in his relationship..

HONESTY PAYS!!

Please just take few minutes of your
time to read this. Several years ago, a
preacher
from out-of-state accepted a
call to a church in Houston ,
Texas . Some weeks after he
arrived, he had an occasion to
board a bus from his home to
the downtown area. When he
sat down, he discovered that
the driver had accidentally given
him a quarter too much change..
As he considered what to do, he
thought to himself, 'You'd better
give the quarter back. It'd
be wrong to keep it.' Then he
thought, 'Oh, forget it, it's only
a quarter. Who would worry
about this little amount?
Anyway, the bus company gets
too much fare; they will never
miss it. Accept it as a 'gift from
God' and keep quiet.'
When his stop came, he paused
momentarily at the door, and
then he handed the quarter to
the driver and said, 'Here, you
gave me too much change ..'
The driver, with a smile, replied,
'Aren't you the new preacher in
town?'
'Yes' he replied.
'Well, I have been thinking a lot
lately about going somewhere to
worship. I just wanted to see
what you would do if I gave you
too much change. I'll see you at
church on Sunday.'
When the preacher stepped off
of the bus, he literally grabbed
the nearest light pole, held on,
and said, 'Oh God, I almost sold
your Son for a quarter.'
Our lives are the only Bible some
people will ever read. This is a
really scary example of how
much people watch us as
Christians, and will put us to the
test! Always be on guard -- and
remember -- You carry the
name of Christ on your
shoulders when you call yourself
'Christian.'
Watch your thoughts ; they
become words.
Watch your words; they become
actions.
Watch your actions; they
become habits..
Watch your habits; they become
character.
Watch your character; it
becomes your destiny.

God bless US!!.

LITTLE JOKE TO CALM UR NERVES!!

A beautiful
and well groomed girl once informed
her dad that her boyfriend would like
to come see him for her hand! On the
said day, the guy arrived home
chewing gum! The dad was enraged
and challenged him "Isn't it a sign of
disrespect?" He fumed, "no daddy, it's
just that I drank a bit," the guy
replied! "So you drink also?" The
father queried? "Yes when I go
clubbing!" He said! "So you club also?
How long have you been clubbing?"
The distraught father asked, "since I
came out of prison," he replied
quietly! "So you were once in prison?"
the worried father asked "why were
you in prison?" He added, "Since I
killed someone," the guy replied,
"Why did you kill someone," the
father asked. And the guy said
"because he didn't want me to marry
his daughter".And the father said:
"You have my blessing good boy!!!!

FAKE FRIENDS V. REAL FRIENDS!!!

FAKE FRIENDS - Never ask for
food...
REAL FRIENDS - Are the reason
you have NO food
FAKE FRIENDS: Call your parents
Mr / Mrs
REAL FRIENDS: Call your parents
DAD/MOM
FAKE FRIENDS - Never seen you
cry
... ... REAL FRIENDS - Cry withyou
FAKE FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff
for afew days then give it back
REAL FRIENDS: keep your stuff
so longthey forget it's yours
FAKE FRIENDS - Know a few
things about you...
REAL FRIENDS - Could write a
book about you
FAKE FRIENDS - Would knock on
your front door...
REAL FRIENDS - Walk right in
and say"I'm home"
FAKE FRIENDS - Will help you up
whenyou fall over...
REAL FRIENDS - Will jump on top
of you and shout "pile on"
FAKE FRIENDS - Are around for
awhile...
REAL FRIENDS - Are for life
FAKE FRIENDS: say "love ya" in a
joking manner
REAL FRIENDS: say "I love you"
and they mean it
FAKE FRIENDS: will write a small
comment like " nice :p"
REAL FRIENDS: will write a very
big comment that you are going to
have headache..

CORRUPT AGE!!

Girlz to Boyz

1970's : Love me, but don't touch me.
1980's : Touch me, but don't kiss me.
1990's : Kiss me, but don't do anything
more.
2000's : Do anything, but don't tell
anyone.
Since 2011 : Do everything, otherwise
I will tell everyone that you can't do
anything..

LMFAO!!! SO SO FUNNY!!

Once an old man was
waiting for a train
sitting on a bench. A
young boy came to him
and asked the time. Old
man refused to tell the
time. Boy insisted again
& again but old man
denied again & again.
Boy asked the reason?
Old man said "if I tell you
the time, then you will
ask about me, my
name, job etc. Then I
will ask about yours,
both of us will become
friends. By chance you
may get the seat with
me. Then you may get
down at my station. My
daughter will come to
receive me. She will
meet you. She is
beautiful. You may fall in
love with her, she too.
Then she may insist to
marry u, even may
threaten me. And I am
sorry that I don’t want
such a poor son in law
who hasn't his own
watch to see the time".

Shikena!!!!

TOUCHING LIFE STORY!! PAID IN FULL!!

A young man was getting ready for graduate college. For
many months he had admired a
beautiful sports car in a dealer's
showroom, and knowing his father
could well afford it, he told
him that was all he wanted.
As Graduation Day approached, the
young man awaited
signs that his father had purchased
the car. Finally, on the
morning of his graduation his father
called him into his private
study. His father told him how proud
he was to have such a fine
son, and told him how much he loved
him. He handed his son
a beautiful wrapped gift box.
Curious, but somewhat disappointed
the young man
opened the box and found a lovely,
leather-bound Bible. Angrily,
he raised his voice at his father and
said, "With all your money you
give me a Bible?" and stormed out of
the house, leaving the holy
book.
Many years passed and the young
man was very successful in
business.
He had a beautiful home and
wonderful family, but realized his
father was very old, and thought
perhaps he should go to him. He
had not seen him since that
graduation day. Before he could make
arrangements, he received a telegram
telling him his father had
passed away, and willed all of his
possessions to his son. He
needed to come home immediately
and take care things.
When he arrived at his father's house,
sudden sadness and
regret filled his heart.
He began to search his father's
important papers and
saw the still new Bible, just as he had
left it years ago. With
tears, he opened the Bible and began
to turn the pages. As he
read those words, a car key dropped
from an envelope
taped behind the Bible.
It had a tag with the dealer's name,
the same dealer who had the
sports car he had desired. On the tag
was the date of his graduation,
and the words...PAID IN FULL.

How many times do we miss God's
blessings because they are not
packaged as we expected?

ANSWERS FOR STUPID QUESTIONS

Answers for stupid questions:
1. Some1 cals u at 2 a.m in the
night and ask u "are u sleeping?"
Ans :no,I'm picking beans..
... 2. When its raining and som1
... notices u going out yet they ask;
are u going out in this rain??
Ans: no in the next one
3. You're making out with your
girlfriend then u start pulling her
pants den she asks; what are u
trying to do??
Ans: i want to wash them 4 u
4 They see u coming out of the
bathroom, wet; did u just have a
bath?
Ans: no, i fell into the toilet bowl
5. You standing right in frontof
the elevator on the ground floor
going 2ur office,yet they ask;
going up??
Ans: no, i'm waiting for my
office to come down and get me!
6. Your boyfriend comes home
with a bunch of flowers and u
still ask him; are those flowers?
Ans: no baby, they're carrots!
7. You're in the toilet nd u locked
the door,som1 knocks on the
door asking; is any1 there? Ans:
No! na shit lock the
door...mts cheew!!
8. You're in the queue at the
cinema to buy tickets, a frnd sees
u and asks; what are you doing
here?
Ans: i'm here to pay my school
fees!... Mumu
9. When pple see you lying down
with your eyes closed, they still
ask; are you sleeping??
Ans:No!
I'm practising to die!!

You say, God Says!!

His ways are not our ways... When we say, God says his.. His is d best for us.. Believe it or not cos i am a a living witness. Have a blessed weekend!!!

HUSBAND STORE

A store that sells husbands has just opened in New York City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!!
There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the floors. There is, however, a catch..... You may choose any man from a particular floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband...
On the first floor, the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the lord.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
"wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4- These men have jobs, love the lord, love kids, and are pretty good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5- These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are pretty gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6- You are visitor number 4,363,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!!

IMPOSSIBLE TECHNOLOGY

So impossible. what do u call ds? I'ld call it d more u look, d less u see cos u can not sit down there and still pick it up. Not with that size of *******. Is this a kind of technology or something??  say for yourself!!

Have a great balmy evening...

THE GUIDE TO WIFE TRANSLATIONS

The wife says: You want
The wife means: You want

The wife says: We need
The wife means: I want

The wife says: It's your decision
The wife means: The correct decision should be obvious

The wife says: Do what you want
The wife means: You'll pay for this later

The wife says: We need to talk
The wife means: I need to complain

The wife says: Sure... go ahead
The wife means: I don't want you to

The wife says: I'n not upset
The wife means: Of course I'm upset you moron

The wife says: You're ... so manly
The wife means: You need a shave and sweat a lot

The wife says: Be romantic, turn out the lights
The wife means: I have flabby thighs.

The wife says: This kitchen is so inconvenient
The wife means: I want a new house.

The wife says: I want new curtains.
The wife means: Also carpeting, furniture, and wallpaper!

The wife says: I need wedding shoes.
The wife means: The other forty pairs are the wrong shade of white.

The wife says: Hang the picture there
The wife means: No, I mean hang it there!

The wife says: I heard a noise
The wife means: I noticed you were almost asleep.

The wife says: Do you love me?
The wife means: I'm going to ask for something expensive.

The wife says: How much do you love me?
The wife means: I did something today you're not going to like.

The wife says: I'll be ready in a minute.
The wife means: Kick off your shoes and take an hour nap.

The wife says: Am I fat?
The wife means: Tell me I'm beautiful.

The wife says: You have to learn to communicate.
The wife means: Just agree with me.

The wife says: Are you listening to me?
The wife means: [Too late, your doomed.]

The wife says: Yes
The wife means: No

The wife says: No
The wife means: No

The wife says: Maybe
The wife means: No

The wife says: I'm sorry
The wife means: You'll be sorry

The wife says: Do you like this recipe?
The wife means: You better get used to it

The wife says: All we're going to buy is a soap dish
The wife means: I'm coming back with enough to fill this place.

The wife says: Was that the baby?
The wife means: Get out of bed and walk him

The wife says: I'm not yelling!
The wife means: Yes I am! I think this is important!

In answer to the question "What's wrong?"

The wife says: The same old thing.
The wife means: Nothing.

The wife says: Nothing.
The wife means: Everything.

The wife says: Nothing, really.
The wife means: It's just that you're an idiot.

The wife says: I don't want to talk about it.
The wife means: I'm still building up steam.

Woman = Problems...

Nigerian Observer Online Edition

Nigerian Observer Online Edition

Bikini Photos - Kim Kardashian and Kourtney Kardashian Bikini in Mexico - 3 - Celebuzz

Bikini Photos - Kim Kardashian and Kourtney Kardashian Bikini in Mexico - 3 - Celebuzz

So true

Channels Television - Nigeria's Award Winning Television Station

4GIVE ME WHEN I WHINE

FORGIVE ME WHEN I WHINE !
Today, upon a bus, I saw a very beautiful
woman and wished I were as beautiful.
When suddenly she rose to leave,
I saw her hobble down the aisle.
She had one leg and wore a crutch.
But as she passed, she passed a smile.
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.
I have two legs; the world is mine.
I stopped to buy some candy.
The lad who sold it had such charm.
I talked with him, he seemed so glad.
If I were late, it'd do no harm.
And as I left, he said to me,
"I thank you, you've been so kind.
It's nice to talk with folks like you.
You see," he said, "I'm blind."
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.
I have two eyes; the world is mine.
Later while walking down the street,
I saw a child I knew.
He stood and watched the others play,
but he did not know what to do.
I stopped a moment and then I said,
"Why don't you join them dear?"
He looked ahead without a word.
I forgot, he couldn't hear.
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.
I have two ears; the world is mine.

With feet to take me where I'd go.
With eyes to see the sunset's glow.
With ears to hear what I'd know.
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.
I've been blessed indeed, the world is mine.
If this poem makes you feel thankful, touch someone with it.
After all, it's just a simple reminder that we
have so much to be thankful for!
Happy new month...
Give The Gift Of Love...
It Never Comes Back Empty !!!