Wednesday 30 May 2012
PRANKS!!PRANK LADY: good morning Dj RADIO STATION: Good morning,wat cn i do foru LADY: Please,I'll like to get two tickets for the Nama Awards show this weekend ... RADIO STATION: Well,you'll get the tickets for free only if you play a prank on someone on air&make them belive it. LADY: That's ok Radio station: Are you married? Do you have kids? LADY: Yes,i hv gt 1 RADIO STATION: Gud,you will call your husband&tell him he is not d father of ur son. LADY: Wow,that's a big one. RADIO STATION: Well it depends on how bad you want the tickets and anyway we will be live on air listening and step into tell him it's all prank. LADY: Ok,let's do this cause I really want d tickets. RADIO: Ok,where is he right now? LADY: He's at d office. His number is...(radio station calls the husband) LADY: Helo Love! HUSBAND: Hi Baby! LADY: How is work? HUSBAND: Gud,can't wait to get back home & make sweet luv 2u. LADY: Me too! But em...dia's something I need 2 tell you. HUSBAND: Ok I'm all ears dear! LADY: swt u kno dat i luv u isn't HUSBAND: Yes I do! LADY: And we promised 2 always be sincere 2 each oda? HUSBAND: Yes we did,u're startin 2 scare me dear,pls, wat is it? LADY: Something happened in my office Nine years ago. HUSBAND: what happened? LADY: The annual xmas party we had in d office 9yrs ago I got drunk&had sex wit a co- worker...em,u are not d father of our son, HUSBAND: What! Lady: I just felt u shld know HUSBAND: Are u crazy? LADY: I'm sori luv, 4give me, I jst needed 2 getit off my chest. HUSBAND: I can't believe dis. LADY: am sori luv,pls 4giv me. HUSBAND: You want 4givnes? Ok u av to 4giv dis,I have been sleepin with ur sista for d past5yrs. Even yestaday I went home at lunch and made passionate love to your sister. RADIO STATION: Oh God! LADY: What did u just say? HUSBAND: You heard me,we just confessed our sins to each other,Is there someone dia with you? RADIO STATION: Sir,dis is Power FM & u are onair.We asked ur wife to play a prank on u so uguys can get tickets to go watch the Nama live show dis weekend. HUSBAND: Oh shit!
Tuesday 15 May 2012
Tuesday 8 May 2012
USE OF TOMATO AS A NATURAL REMEDY!!!!
Natural Home Remedies using Tomato
The tomato is truly an amazing fruit. It is known to have many health benefits such as reducing the risk of cardiovascular disease, lower high blood pressure, and reducing the risk of cancer. Tomato is a good source of calcium and iron. It also contains some minerals such as phosphorus, sulphur and potassium needed in our body. As many would know, tomato is rich in Vitamin C. However, many would not know that the Vitamin C increases as the fruit ripens. Tomato also has some amounts of Vitamins A and B. Besides its health benefits and nutritional value, tomatoes are used as home remedies for minor ailments.
1) Diarrhea
If you're having diarrhea, try drinking the juice made by stirring the tomato paste from a dozen dried slices of tomato into a cup of water.
2) Bloodshot eyes
To relieve bloodshot eyes, eat 1 or 2 fresh tomatoes first thing in the morning on an empty stomach.
3) Face Peels
Tomato is excellent for purifying and rejuvenating your skin. Rub off the top layer of dead skin cells with the gentle help of tomatoes. Rub tomato slices directly onto your clean skin, focusing on areas with lots of blackheads. Tomatoes contain Vitamin C which has healing powers, and an acid which eliminates dead skin and unclogs pores, making skin soft and radiant.
4) Acne Scars
Slice up a tomato and place it on your face. Tomatoes are rich in Vitamin A that prevents overproduction of sebum that causes acne. Vitamin A also has antioxidant chracteristics that refreshes and renews scarred and damaged skin.
5) Dark circles under the eyes
Make a paste using 1 tsp tomato juice, 1/2 tsp lemon juice, a pinch of tumeric powder and a pinch of gram flour. Keep the paste under your eyes for 10 minutes. Dark circles will disappear after several treatments.
6) Sunburn
Soak peeled tomato slices in buttermilk before applying them directly on your sunburnt skin. The acidity closes up the pores and soothing agents present in tomatoes will relieve the pain.
7) Eczema
If you have a skin problem such as eczema and skin sensitivity to sunlight, try drinking tomato juice everyday. You will begin to see the difference after a few weeks.
8) Wounds and sores
Tribal medicine men often prescribed potions made from the leaves of wild tomatoes to heal wounds and sores. Take a slice of fresh tomato and place it on the wound. The infection will normally clear within 2-3 days.
9) Mouth ulcers
If you have mouth ulcers, gargle tomato juice 3-4 times a day.
10) Anemia
If you're anemic, drink a mixture of apple and tomato juice. The rich iron content in the tomato will help relieve your anemia.
11) Morning sickness
If you're suffering from morning sickness during your pregnancy, drink a glassful of fresh tomato juice, mixed with a pinch of salt and pepper early in the morning. It is considered to be an effective remedy for morning sickness.
12) Lose weight
Want to lose weight? Do you know that 100g of tomatoes contain only 20 calories? These calories are easily absorbed by the body. The low calorie content makes it a favorite of obese people and is often recommended in weight loss program as it provides you with some of the essential vitamins and minerals, fills your stomach and doesn't add calories to your body.
Tomato is also known to be able to treat other ailments such as urinary tract infection, night blindness, jaundice, liver disorders, indigestion, constipation, intestinal disorders and diabetes. It is a natural antioxidant, helping the body cleanse itself of toxic coumpounds. So, start using tomatoes as your natural home remedy for these ailments.
* We stress that you conduct your own research on these remedies, if only to corroborate or refute the data that we have posted here. Consult a trained Practitioner who will be better able to physically & spiritually guide you
The tomato is truly an amazing fruit. It is known to have many health benefits such as reducing the risk of cardiovascular disease, lower high blood pressure, and reducing the risk of cancer. Tomato is a good source of calcium and iron. It also contains some minerals such as phosphorus, sulphur and potassium needed in our body. As many would know, tomato is rich in Vitamin C. However, many would not know that the Vitamin C increases as the fruit ripens. Tomato also has some amounts of Vitamins A and B. Besides its health benefits and nutritional value, tomatoes are used as home remedies for minor ailments.
1) Diarrhea
If you're having diarrhea, try drinking the juice made by stirring the tomato paste from a dozen dried slices of tomato into a cup of water.
2) Bloodshot eyes
To relieve bloodshot eyes, eat 1 or 2 fresh tomatoes first thing in the morning on an empty stomach.
3) Face Peels
Tomato is excellent for purifying and rejuvenating your skin. Rub off the top layer of dead skin cells with the gentle help of tomatoes. Rub tomato slices directly onto your clean skin, focusing on areas with lots of blackheads. Tomatoes contain Vitamin C which has healing powers, and an acid which eliminates dead skin and unclogs pores, making skin soft and radiant.
4) Acne Scars
Slice up a tomato and place it on your face. Tomatoes are rich in Vitamin A that prevents overproduction of sebum that causes acne. Vitamin A also has antioxidant chracteristics that refreshes and renews scarred and damaged skin.
5) Dark circles under the eyes
Make a paste using 1 tsp tomato juice, 1/2 tsp lemon juice, a pinch of tumeric powder and a pinch of gram flour. Keep the paste under your eyes for 10 minutes. Dark circles will disappear after several treatments.
6) Sunburn
Soak peeled tomato slices in buttermilk before applying them directly on your sunburnt skin. The acidity closes up the pores and soothing agents present in tomatoes will relieve the pain.
7) Eczema
If you have a skin problem such as eczema and skin sensitivity to sunlight, try drinking tomato juice everyday. You will begin to see the difference after a few weeks.
8) Wounds and sores
Tribal medicine men often prescribed potions made from the leaves of wild tomatoes to heal wounds and sores. Take a slice of fresh tomato and place it on the wound. The infection will normally clear within 2-3 days.
9) Mouth ulcers
If you have mouth ulcers, gargle tomato juice 3-4 times a day.
10) Anemia
If you're anemic, drink a mixture of apple and tomato juice. The rich iron content in the tomato will help relieve your anemia.
11) Morning sickness
If you're suffering from morning sickness during your pregnancy, drink a glassful of fresh tomato juice, mixed with a pinch of salt and pepper early in the morning. It is considered to be an effective remedy for morning sickness.
12) Lose weight
Want to lose weight? Do you know that 100g of tomatoes contain only 20 calories? These calories are easily absorbed by the body. The low calorie content makes it a favorite of obese people and is often recommended in weight loss program as it provides you with some of the essential vitamins and minerals, fills your stomach and doesn't add calories to your body.
Tomato is also known to be able to treat other ailments such as urinary tract infection, night blindness, jaundice, liver disorders, indigestion, constipation, intestinal disorders and diabetes. It is a natural antioxidant, helping the body cleanse itself of toxic coumpounds. So, start using tomatoes as your natural home remedy for these ailments.
* We stress that you conduct your own research on these remedies, if only to corroborate or refute the data that we have posted here. Consult a trained Practitioner who will be better able to physically & spiritually guide you
Monday 7 May 2012
SHAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Mrs Prince was sure that Mr Prince - her husband was cheating on her and having an affair with the maid.
So she laid down a trap.
One evening she suddenly sent the maid home for the weekend and didn't tell her husband.
That night when they went to bed, Mr Prince gave the old story,
"excuse me my dear, my stomach aches".. And went to the bathroom.
... Mrs Prince promptly went into the maid's bed.
She switched the lights off.
When he came in silently, he wasted no time or words and had his way with her.
When he finished and was still panting, the wife said,
"you didn't expect to find me in this bed, did you?!".
And then switched on the light...
"No madam", said the gardener.
So she laid down a trap.
One evening she suddenly sent the maid home for the weekend and didn't tell her husband.
That night when they went to bed, Mr Prince gave the old story,
"excuse me my dear, my stomach aches".. And went to the bathroom.
... Mrs Prince promptly went into the maid's bed.
She switched the lights off.
When he came in silently, he wasted no time or words and had his way with her.
When he finished and was still panting, the wife said,
"you didn't expect to find me in this bed, did you?!".
And then switched on the light...
"No madam", said the gardener.
QUESTION!!!!!!!!!
The Lagos State Medical Doctors were on Strike.
A senior Doc was in a hurry to join his colleague in the protest while in the theatre on a patient, so he left Dr. Biggy - his male assistant in charge.
The senior doc came back & asked,
"How did u get on?"
Dr Biggy says,
... "I had 3 Patients. The 1st had a Headache so I give her Paracetamol"
"Good man" says the Senior Doc.
"The 2nd had Indigestion, so I gave her Gaviscon."
"Well done." said the senior Doc.
"The 3rd was a Young gorgeous woman who burst into d room, took off all her clothes & lay down on the table, spreads her legs and shouts,
'Please, please help me, I haven't seen a man in 5 years……...!'"
"Shiiit!!! What did you do?" asks the senior Doc.
Dr Biggy replies,
"I gave her Eyedrops !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!"
A senior Doc was in a hurry to join his colleague in the protest while in the theatre on a patient, so he left Dr. Biggy - his male assistant in charge.
The senior doc came back & asked,
"How did u get on?"
Dr Biggy says,
... "I had 3 Patients. The 1st had a Headache so I give her Paracetamol"
"Good man" says the Senior Doc.
"The 2nd had Indigestion, so I gave her Gaviscon."
"Well done." said the senior Doc.
"The 3rd was a Young gorgeous woman who burst into d room, took off all her clothes & lay down on the table, spreads her legs and shouts,
'Please, please help me, I haven't seen a man in 5 years……...!'"
"Shiiit!!! What did you do?" asks the senior Doc.
Dr Biggy replies,
"I gave her Eyedrops !!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!"
MORE DAN ENOUGH SEXUAL SATISFACTION!!!
Mr Tobias - a farmer ordered a high tech milking machine.
Since the equipment arrived when his wife was out of town, he decided to test it on himself first.
So, he inserted his "manhood" into the equipment, turned on the switch and everything else was automatic.
Soon, he realized that the equipment provided him with much more pleasure than his wife did.
When the fun was over, though, he quickly re...alized that he couldn't remove the instrument from his 'member'.
He read the manual but didn't find any useful information on how to disengage himself.
He tried every button on the instrument, but still without success.
Finally, he decided to call the supplier's Customer Service Hot Line with his cell phone (Thank god for cell phones!).
"Hello, I just bought a milking machine from your company. It works fantastic, but how do I remove it from the cow's udder?"
"Don't worry," replied the customer service rep, "The machine will release automatically once it's collected two gallon."
Since the equipment arrived when his wife was out of town, he decided to test it on himself first.
So, he inserted his "manhood" into the equipment, turned on the switch and everything else was automatic.
Soon, he realized that the equipment provided him with much more pleasure than his wife did.
When the fun was over, though, he quickly re...alized that he couldn't remove the instrument from his 'member'.
He read the manual but didn't find any useful information on how to disengage himself.
He tried every button on the instrument, but still without success.
Finally, he decided to call the supplier's Customer Service Hot Line with his cell phone (Thank god for cell phones!).
"Hello, I just bought a milking machine from your company. It works fantastic, but how do I remove it from the cow's udder?"
"Don't worry," replied the customer service rep, "The machine will release automatically once it's collected two gallon."
WHO SMART PASS?
A married lady was going into an hotel with her boyfriend when she jam her husband coming out of that hotel with his girlfriend.
On sighting the husband, the lady immediately said,
"I don catch you today, thank God I brought awitness".
The man looked at her then turned to his girlfriend and said,
"Sister Mercy you see what I've told you. If we had left earlier we won't have caught her here
On sighting the husband, the lady immediately said,
"I don catch you today, thank God I brought awitness".
The man looked at her then turned to his girlfriend and said,
"Sister Mercy you see what I've told you. If we had left earlier we won't have caught her here
Madness pass madness
A psychiatrist wanted to know how many of his patients have been cured of madness, so he assembled them in a classroom and drew a big door on the board.
He then told the class that if anyone could open the door on the board, that person would receive a gift of N20,000 and would befree to go home.
On hearing this, they all rushed to the board to open the door, except one young man whoremained in hi...s seat at the back smiling.
The psychiatrist, with joy and excitement on his face seeing that somebody has been cured of madness, went to him and asked, why didn’t u join your mates to open the door?
The young man replied, no mind those mad people, they are just fooling themselves, dem no know say the key dey my pocket…
He then told the class that if anyone could open the door on the board, that person would receive a gift of N20,000 and would befree to go home.
On hearing this, they all rushed to the board to open the door, except one young man whoremained in hi...s seat at the back smiling.
The psychiatrist, with joy and excitement on his face seeing that somebody has been cured of madness, went to him and asked, why didn’t u join your mates to open the door?
The young man replied, no mind those mad people, they are just fooling themselves, dem no know say the key dey my pocket…
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